Secret of Evermore

Have you ever asked yourself if you were a video game character, who would you be?

I have, lots of times, I’ve probably even taken a few quizzes on the matter.


Yeah, no.

Ask yourself that question seriously, out of all the pixelated protagonists out there, who are you? Are you lovable like Pikachu? Overrated cold like Cloud Strife? Or do you meander around like a Sim?
Me, I’d be the main character from Secret of Evermore. What’s Secret of Evermore, you ask? Well, it’s the only American produced game that Squaresoft put out and back in the day it was kind of hated for reasons that don’t make much sense.


Evermore is the story about a kid and their dog getting warped to the land of B-movies and having adventures, which is what I want to have happen to me when I grow up. Because of the flack the game got upon release, it didn’t do too well and it kind of became an obscure title (it didn’t even get a Japanese release.), despite being just as much fun to play as Secret of Mana or Chrono Trigger.


So why pick a character from a game that no one really likes or remembers for that matter? Well, the protagonist is this kid who spends a lot of his time watching bad movies with his dog, most of his dialogue is quotes from these bad movies. Switch the gender or the kid and this is my video game autobiography.


These are a few of the gems from my movie collection. (fun fact: my biggest gripe with Jurassic World was that they had a perfectly good chance to homage the Valley of Gwangi, but didn’t. Doing so would have made a key scene in the movie make loads more sense.) I can quote most of these films, much to the chagrin of my friends and family. I’ve watched every one of these movies with my dog, I’m sure if he could talk he’d be able to quote them too.


Much like the dog in the game, he has a habit of running off and taking us on adventures that don’t seem like adventures at the time.
So if video games and B-movies are your thing and you’ve got a few hours to kill, give Secret of Evermore a chance. It’s by no means an epic game, but like most B fare it sure is fun. You may just find yourself quoting your own favourite movies as you play.


Me, I’m gonna sneak my dog into the next showing of the Lost Adventures of Vexx and see where it takes us.

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